Why Do Twins Need Psychotherapy?

A recurring concern from twins who contact me is, “Why do I need psychotherapy?” Here are some simply stated answers and my reasoning. Separating from your twin is a very hard inner and outer journey of self discovery. Support and insight into your journey of identity makes the road you must travel less rocky, more …

When You Hurt Your Twin You Hurt Yourself

I have come to this conclusion through my clinical experiences working with twins who have suffered differing types of estrangement, from fixable to totally unresolvable. My complicated psychological theory is based on the reality that twins share an identity as twins. In addition and hopefully, each twin has his or her own individual identity that …

The Struggles Adult Twins Have Finding New Partners

With the prevalence of fertility drugs and older mothers giving birth, parenting twins has become an issue that is frequently addressed in the media, online and in popular books about child development. In contrast, an understanding of the lives of adult twin relationships is almost entirely ignored except for dramatic portrayals of deep entwinement or …

An Honest Admission About Fighting with My Twin

My sister and I started fighting in college. She was sure that I had too many boyfriends and that I was a superficial airhead who would never make anything of myself. Maybe she was jealous – but in those days the possibility didn’t occur to me. I accepted her lack of faith in my ability …

Believe It or Not, You Can Stop Fighting with Your Twin

My personal and professional experiences lead me to conclude that continuous twin fighting can be destructive to the twin relationship and to each twin’s individual self-esteem. Twin fighting is intense and can include screaming at one another as well as physical fights. The escalation of fighting leads, in very serious situations, to estrangement. Twin fighting …

Reduce Competition: Expect Your Twin Children to Develop Differently

It is normal and expectable to have twins look and act differently. Actually, differences will evolve naturally. The latest genetic research shows how differently twins can develop even when they are identical. And parents relate differently to each child, which creates emotional differences. Twins develop their own relationship, which also makes them unique and interested …

How to Detoxify Your Twin Relationship

Onlookers to twin relationships can idealize the closeness and companionship that twins share. For instance, twins sometimes are envied by people who suffer from loneliness and depression. Indeed, for those seeking the perfect mate, twins are supposedly excellent role models, to be admired and copied for their capacity for understanding and empathy. In actuality, twins …

Why Is It So Hard to Separate from my Twin?

Many of the twins who call me or email me want to know why it is so hard to separate from their twin brother or sister. There are high-brow psychological explanations which support the reality that twin separation is difficult. I must confess that I have written theoretical books on how unique twin development is …