Theory and research based on the experiences of adult twins
My personal and professional experiences lead me to conclude that continuous twin fighting can be destructive to the twin relationship and to each twin’s individual self-esteem. Twin fighting is intense and can include screaming at one another as well as physical fights. The escalation of fighting leads, in very serious situations, to estrangement. Twin fighting …
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Onlookers to twin relationships can idealize the closeness and companionship that twins share. For instance, twins sometimes are envied by people who suffer from loneliness and depression. Indeed, for those seeking the perfect mate, twins are supposedly excellent role models, to be admired and copied for their capacity for understanding and empathy. In actuality, twins …
Many of the twins who call me or email me want to know why it is so hard to separate from their twin brother or sister. There are high-brow psychological explanations which support the reality that twin separation is difficult. I must confess that I have written theoretical books on how unique twin development is …
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Twin estrangement that grows out of unresolved anger, disappointment, and resentment is very emotionally complicated and confusing. Obviously, there are many distinct and intensely sad and forlorn faces of twins who are estranged. I know of this particular kind of pain because I have dealt with being estranged and then connected and then disconnected from …
Popular culture most often portrays twins as having deep and loving relationships with one another. Secondarily, twinship is used to illustrate good and evil or opposite images. Only recently have novels and memoirs been written that explain the pain and animosity that twins can share and are forced to tolerate in each other. Twinship is …
Many phone calls and e-mails from twins and their parents are about separation issues that are particular to twins. For their children, parents ask, “When is the best time to separate my children?” And, “What is the best way to develop my children’s individuality?” Obviously, there are no pat answers to these questions. In adulthood, …
Twins have a really strong attachment to one another. As children they rely on each other at home, in school and with new friends. Sometimes twins are extremely close and value one another. As twins take their own life paths they can miss one another terribly or fight endlessly with each other about their individual …
Why am I fighting with my twin? Why can’t we get along? These are the most heartfelt questions that I have encountered on my long and intriguing journey to understand what makes twinship so special, and yet so difficult. While it may be easy for almost everyone to understand why you would miss your life …