Twin relationships can be deeply conflicted and also seriously misunderstood by twins, their relatives, close friends and co-workers. Yes, twins often do not understand why they get so angry with each other. Twins do know that anger and fighting is real and intensely upsetting. Parents and close others often suffer confusion and frustration with twin …
Category Archives: Twin Estrangement
Twin Estrangement – Connecting with Other Twins Helps
Popular culture most often portrays twins as having deep and loving relationships with one another. Secondarily, twinship is used to illustrate good and evil or opposite images. Only recently have novels and memoirs been written that explain the pain and animosity that twins can share and are forced to tolerate in each other. Twinship is …
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Loneliness in Adult Twins
Last week my Twin Estrangement Group discussed the profound pain, depression, and emotional difficulties that loneliness brings to adult twins. Everyone in my group agreed that loneliness is an unwelcome side effect of estrangement. In my own life experiences I felt loneliness and loss even after I got over missing my twin sister. When I was …
Why Do Twins Decide to Live Very Separate Lives?
While images of harmony and closeness permeate our cultural and popular presentations and understanding of twins, the dark and disconnected feelings that twins share are very alive and real for countless twins. Indeed, twins who don’t get along or who are actually estranged from one another are burdened with feeling that they are “not normal” …
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Why Do Twins Need Psychotherapy?
A recurring concern from twins who contact me is, “Why do I need psychotherapy?” Here are some simply stated answers and my reasoning. Separating from your twin is a very hard inner and outer journey of self discovery. Support and insight into your journey of identity makes the road you must travel less rocky, more …
When You Hurt Your Twin You Hurt Yourself
I have come to this conclusion through my clinical experiences working with twins who have suffered differing types of estrangement, from fixable to totally unresolvable. My complicated psychological theory is based on the reality that twins share an identity as twins. In addition and hopefully, each twin has his or her own individual identity that …
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The Struggles Adult Twins Have Finding New Partners
With the prevalence of fertility drugs and older mothers giving birth, parenting twins has become an issue that is frequently addressed in the media, online and in popular books about child development. In contrast, an understanding of the lives of adult twin relationships is almost entirely ignored except for dramatic portrayals of deep entwinement or …
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An Honest Admission About Fighting with My Twin
My sister and I started fighting in college. She was sure that I had too many boyfriends and that I was a superficial airhead who would never make anything of myself. Maybe she was jealous – but in those days the possibility didn’t occur to me. I accepted her lack of faith in my ability …
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